Adventures in Tumors

The following may be TMI for anyone who falls into that teeny venn diagram slice where “male” and “wussy” overlap. You have been warned!

So, a little while back, I started bleeding and didn’t stop for 2 months. At points it was very light, but nonetheless, still blood. I’d had a yearly exam 8 months prior, and while I had had to get a colposcopy, everything was relatively fine. Nonetheless, I decided it was high time I got my next exam early.

Lucky for me, the results came back positive, so no cancer for me! However, the doctor recommended that, based on my symptoms, I should get an ultrasound. Got one last week, and just found out the full results today. I’ve got 4 fibroids, which are tumors that live within the uterus, with sizes ranging up to 4cm. According to the internets, fibroids are most common in women in their 40s to 50s, African American women, obese women, and women who eat a lot of red meat. I am none of these things, so I musta hit the Fibroid Lottery! Or there’s a genetic tendency, which I am unsure of and might look into. In any case, three of these fibroids are subserosal, which means they’re just hanging out on the surface of the uterus and not really bothering anything. One of them looks like it might be submucosal, meaning it’s in the lining, and is likely the one that’s causing my nasty little issues.

Anyhow, I talked about options with the doctor. There’s a whole range of things that are generally done for these bad boys, all the way from “nothing” to “hysterectomy”. The latter would be overkill, but there are more minor surgical options to get them removed. However, since my only issue with them at the moment is the pain and the gore, I’m just gonna go on drugs. I’ve historically not gotten along well with birth control (which is often prescribed to regulate bleeding) but I’m going to try something vaguely related – Provera – to see how that works out. If the nasty side effecst of birth control surface, I’ll try Lysteda, which is apparently something you can take just during the week of your period to help things out. And to be honest, the idea of having a period that lasts only a week makes me feel kinda giddy, because for the last year or two I’ve evolved to a 2-3 week kinda girl, which, to be honest, really blows. Also looking forward to not feeling randomly weak and craving steak & spinach salads all the time, because iron. Yay iron!

Anyhow, I should probably be sad that I have tumors, but as I already figured something was wrong with me, I’m just super happy that a.) it’s not cancer and b.) I don’t have to get cut open!

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